roast / leaderboard
Apps and sites roasted here, on one strict scale. 50 is average, 80 is rare. Big apps don't get a curve.
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Scores are the latest roast of each listing. Apps and sites are here because their developer chose to be; roast yours and add it for free traffic.
Calm“180 million downloads, zero seconds before the paywall question.”B84/100
ChatGPT“Free AI that costs nothing because you're the product here.”B84/100
Things 3“Award-winning design meets feature list written by a spreadsheet.”B78/100
Airbnb“Eight million homes and one eternal scroll through grid hell.”B70/100
Todoist: To Do List & Calendar“50 million people use it, zero learn why they should.”B70/100
Bear - Markdown Notes“Beautiful notes app for people who love reading about beautiful notes apps.”C68/100
Flighty – Live Flight Tracker“Pilots use it, but pilots aren't reading App Store listings.”C68/100
Strava: Run, Bike, Walk“Apple Watch App of the Year, but the pitch is still generic fitness stuff.”C63/100
Duolingo: Learn Languages“Most downloaded education app teaches chess now, somehow.”C62/100
Headspace: Sleep & Meditation“Award-winning app for stress, but the description reads like a feature checklist.”C58/100
Discord - Talk, Play, Hang Out“Designed for gaming, accidentally describes a group chat app.”C54/100
Notion: Notes, Tasks, AI“All-in-one workspace that's actually all-in-one confusion.”C54/100
Tinder Dating App: Date & Chat“Millions of people nearby, but the app description is a billion words away.”C53/100
Canva AI Photo & Video Editor“Design anything, but learn Canva first.”C51/100
Slack“Enterprise messaging for teams who still need AI to find yesterday's email.”C51/100
Spotify: Music and Podcasts“One hundred million songs, zero reasons to read past the second screenshot.”C51/100
TikTok - Videos, Shop & LIVE“Billion-person platform, described like a spreadsheet feature list.”D48/100
Robinhood: Trading & Investing“One app for everything, except why you'd pick this one.”D40/100
Uber - Rides, Eats, Hotels“Million-rider app lists every feature except why anyone needs it.”D40/100
Instagram“Four billion people want your attention, Instagram just takes it.”D39/100